What can not be to talk to a person covered by negative emotions
According to psychologists, the lack of understanding of such a state around and their incorrect actions can only aggravate the situation, making a way out of an unstable state is even more difficult.
Many of the appropriate, in your opinion, things that can be said in such a situation cause a paradoxical effect – anxiety is only increasing. It looks like a swing sand. The more harsh efforts you take in order to get out, the deeper the deeper you sue. Speaking in such a situation a man is a banal "calm down", with a high probability you will strengthen his alarm or panic.
In fact, there are more effective ways to assist, which are not aggravating the condition of a person.
1. Do not worry because of nonsense
What you consider nonsense can be very important in the world of another person. Trying to give the situation positive, bright shades, you actually drive something very important for this person. Before talking like this, try to enter the system of beliefing another person. In a state of anxiety or panic, everything is important.
No need to convince a person in the nonsense of what happened. Instead, you need to apply the reward tactics. Remind him that this happened to him earlier, and he perfectly coped with these emotions. This contributes to overcoming the current state and exit.
2. Take it easy
The problem of such states is that they often do not control. Man would be happy to calm down, but he simply can’t. Need special training and work on yourself, so that like this, on the team, take control of your emotional state.
Kate Hampris, Psychiatrist, from the University of Stanford, offers to replace the template inefficient phrases for words-calls to action. Maybe we walk in the park? Meet me? Do something together? Soothing occupation distract human.
3. Just do it
More such situations relate to different fears and phobiam. Someone is terribly afraid to fly, and as an argument hears a teasing "just do it". The problem is that the call for action under pressure or with an attempt to take into weakly can aggravate the fear, causing a heavy attack of panic.
Hampris advises to use another paradox of our thinking, saying phrases like "I’m sorry that this happens to you". Sympathy in this case creates a feeling that he does not need to fight with an attack of emotions, and from that moment he begins to calm down.
4. Everything will be fine
Speaking this beaten phrase, you actually never achieve the desired sedative effect. All because you will not believe. And why everything will be fine? Attempting to instill unconfirmed confidence can improve the situation for only a few seconds, and then a person will quickly analyze everything from his position and, not finding and without having heard the reasons why everything really will be fine, even deeper in despair.
No matter how strange it sounded, but, according to Bia, it is the opportunity to take his anxiety, instead of trying to drive him out, can have a much better effect.
5. I also have depression. What to do?
Another common technique that implies the conviction that you are also so bad. Even if you are really experiencing the same stress, anxiety or similar emotions, then you, in any case, should not be looped in this state. You all know well what depression is inclied. It is necessary to stay together with a person in such a state, and you yourself are just starting to experience emotional decay.
When trying to support the other on the rights of "equality of states", there is a risk of creating a "mutual feeding" of each other with negative emotions. Don’t grieve together. Optimal will be joint distraction for some positive effect: the same joint walks and other pastime.
There is no need to say anything. Get drunk and forget – this is complete nonsense. In the short term, that is, right now, to help can, but in the long-term will lead to alcoholism and clinical depression. Over time, the current emotional problems "with the support of" alcohol will only increase.
7. I did something wrong?
The most terrible thing when a close man suffers from negative emotions. If you are not a reason, you will still tend to assume the presence and guilt in what happens. This can lead to attempts to control human emotions, which will only lead to aggravation. You are aware that all your efforts do not bring results, and feel anger, or disappointment. Holding his hands, you remove from the problem as a whole, and a person close to you begins to feel rejected, abandoned, to blame for the fact that his emotional problems interfere with others.
The only right way to help is the failure of attempts to suppress and control the emotions of native people. Support is what is required from you in a similar situation, and previous tips will help you behave more correctly.